7/29/07

What do we really want to get out of life? Do we wanna take advantage of it? Just so we can come out on top. Ive taken advantage of my life before. Take my word for it, its not the path you wanna travel. Tell me that you know, lifes not fair. If you wanna make it, then youre half way there. People think my life is just simple, ofcourse, im just a kid, right? WRONG! Ive broken through more barriers than most of the adults i know. I can NEVER be happy, without someone trying to come around, and steal my thunder. I figure i have everything i need in life. I have a bestfriend, and i have the boy of my dreams. What more is there? Sometimes, in the back of my head, i think to myself, theres SO much more i have going for me. Other times, i just let it go, and enjoy what I do have. Ive gotten all i could out of the city of Roseburg. Maybe even the state of Oregon, itself.
My life has been a puzzle, and moving to California would be the corner piece i've always needed to finish. I've come to realize, ive burned all my bridges down. The ones with the old friends, that ive recently lost. The ones with my parents, who have NO trust for me what so ever. Its about time i become an architect and build some more. I look back at the way i was, at the beginning of 2006, and I wonder why i changed for the worst, like i did. Its because the influences i had, the friends i made along the way. I ditched my real friends, to hangout with a different crowd. I turned into a person that I hated, and now is the time that it changes. Like I said earlier, I've broken through many barriers. Sometimes i've made mistakes, just to see what the outcome would be, and if it would be a negative result, or a positive one. but in the end, then only question you need to ask yourself, is, Was the juice worth the squeeze?